I just received a mail with some important facts about Chuck Norris. I guess you have to know about it. forgive me if stg is not that understandable, I translate it a bit drunk from Hungarian
1) Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. Chuck Norris only waits.
2) Chuck Norris doesn't shave himself. He kicks himself on his face. The only thing that can cause wounds on Chuck Norris is namely Chuck Norris.
3) The Sherman tank was called originally Chuck Norris tank. CN decided, however, that this tank is not "hard" enough for his name. The army quickly renamed the tank and promised that a weapon will soon developed what's worth to carry on with CN's name.
They still don't succeed this.
4) When Bruce Banner goes mad, he turnes into Hulk. When Hulk goes mad, it turnes into CN.
5) CN doesn't read books. He just look on them to get the necessary informations.
6) When CN kicks someone, he/she won't only die but he/she will be erased from the whole space-time manifold. (continuum?)
7) CN once asked for a BigMac in the Burger King. He got it.
CN can slam a tourniquet behind himself.
9) Many ppl wear a Superman-pyjama. Superman wears a CN pyjama.
10) Once CN pulled out a piece of his beard and runned with it three ppl's heart through.
11) When CN wants to drink a coffee, he grinds it with his teeth and he boils the water with his own anger.
12) CN has 12 moons. One of them is called "Earth".
13) On his birthday, CN chooses one lucky child to throw him in the Sun.
14) Black colour was found out by CN. Moreover, all the colour spectrum was found out by CN.
Except pink which was found out by Tom Cruise.
15) CN can be divided with 0.
16) The value of a picture is more than 1000 words'. The worth of CN is more than 10000000000 pictures'.
17) Once CN ate a whole big cake before he was alerted that a striptease dancer is also inside.
18) When CN gives blood, he doesn't ask for an indicator, only for a gun and a bucket.
19) There's no evolution, there's only the list of those species let live by CN.
20) When you see CN, he also can see you. When you don't see CN, you might be some seconds away from death.
21) CN counted up to infinity. Twice.
22) CN doesn't have a chin under his bread but a 3d fist.
23) We live in a distanded universe. Everything is running away from CN.
24) Most ppl have 23 chromosomes. CN has 72, all of them is toxic.
25) CN is ten feet tall, weights two tons, breaths fire, can eat a hammer and stands a push of a shotgun shot without a move.
26) the Chinese Great Wall was built originally to keep CN outside. It flopped.
27) The easiest way to a man's heart is CN's fist.
28) CN has 2 gears: "Walk", "Kill".
29) the secret chicken recipe of KFC was found out by CN. It contains 11 different curries. Noone ever metions however the 12th: fear.
30) In an ordianary living room there are 1242 items that CN can use for killing, including the room itself.
...more coming soon
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