Sugar_Horse,
I'm so sorry that you are going though such a difficult time
....but you are doing the right thing to seek help. By going to a therapist and opening up right here to seemingly "random people".
You see, even though you probably don't know many of the members here, from my perception there's quite an abundance of nice sincere people here that will do what they can to help and offer sound advice.
I don't know Bulimia firsthand....I'm a guy. I'm sure it exists with men, but it seems to be rare in men. You mentioned having a problem coping with the guilt, shame and frustration of not being able to beat the disease. That's definitely understandable, we all want to feel like we are in control of our actions and the paths we take in life......but remember we're all only human. Sometimes we can't do it alone. There's no shame in needing help. By giving it a second go with your therapist, that's a big step to recovery.
I'm sure you might feel guilt from those things you mentioned doing as a result of suffering from Bulimia....wasting your parents money, lying, breaking their trust etc...but first you need to focus on getting yourself healthy again. One step at a time. Later when your physically and mentally stable and comfortable, you can make amends to those you feel you need to.
Going through such a serious problem, you must do a bit a soul searching and grasp onto what you still have that is good in your life....it'll help tremendously. For example, not to get deeply in some of my troubles...I go often though periods of deep depressions triggered from what most others would deem as trivial or minor things. Those things are are not trivial or meaningless to me....sometimes a simple kind word or action can make all the difference when feeling down.
One thing I've always grasped onto is my passion and love for music. Often TG
and many other musicians are the only thing that make be feel good inside and make me persevere. Yes, I've thought about suicide a number of times over the years, but I'll never act on it ever. I think about what I miss out on. We can't know what's in store. There could be so many beautiful times and feelings down the road for you... for you to give it up CAN'T be an option.
I'm no professional by any means at all. I just think the best thing for you to do is NOT think of beating your problem in one big picture. What I mean it's a long path to recovery. Work on one small step of improvement at a time.
You've already made probably the biggest step. Admitting the Bulimia is a problem for you and reaching out for help.
First, continue to seek the help of your therapist, perhaps a change of medication may be in order. Work on starting to feel good again about yourself. As I said earlier, once you feel at a point where you feel physically and mentally good and sound, then you make the reparations or amends necessary to relieve you of the guilt from hurting others along the way. It's time to be selfish intially and get yourself back on track first.
I really hope I could help at least a little bit.
Please do feel free and PM if there is any way I can help more.
I wish you the best of luck and all the strength you need to beat this.